I generally stay clear of how to lists related to grief and healing, as none of it in my own experience is linear. However, I believe Uma captures this non-linear sense of grief in her list 10 Ways to Cope with a Difficult Loss.
I especially like numbers 2 – 4:
2) Understand that grief is messy. Grief is often three steps forward, two steps back. Good days and bad days are part of the deal. If you’re having a particularly good week, don’t be misled into thinking that you’re over the worst of it.
3) Don’t fight your emotions. Sit with whatever comes up. The fact that you’re grieving hard simply means you loved hard. Honor your grief instead of running away from it.
4) Know that grief has no timetable. Don’t be in a rush; don’t let others rush you. Grief is not like weight loss where you see a predictable result if you put in the work. Don’t judge or compare your grief with another’s.